Saturday, November 22, 2008

8 reasons why capitalists want to sell you deodorants

1) Body smells are erotic and sexual. Capitalists don’t like that because they are impotent and opposed to all manifestation of sensuality and sexuality. Sexually awakened people are potentially dangerous to capitalists and their rigid, asexual system.

2) Body smells remind us that we are animals. Capitalists don’t wants us to be reminded of that. Animals are dirty; they eat things off the ground, not out plastic wrappers. They are openly sexual. They don’t wear suits or ties, and they don’t get their hair done. They don’t show up to work on time.

3) Body smells are unique. Everyone has her own body smell. Capitalists don’t like individuality. There are millions of body smells but only a few deodorant smells. Capitalists like that.

4) Some deodorants are harmful. Capitalists like that because they are always looking for new illnesses to cure. Capitalists love to invent new medicines. Medicines make money for tem and win them prizes; they also cause new illnesses so capitalists can invent even more medicines.

5) Deodorants cost you money. Capitalists are especially pleased about that.

6) Deodorants hide the damage that capitalist products cause your body. Eating meat chemical-filled foods sold by capitalists make you smell bad. Wearing pantyhose or eating meat.

7) Deodorant-users are insecure. Capitalists like insecure people. Insecure people don’t start trouble. Insecure people also buy room fresheners, hair conditioners, makeup and magazines about dieting.

8) Deodorants are unnecessary. Capitalists are proud of that and they win marketing awards for it.

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